A Wives' Bill of Rights

by Francis Farmer

  1. We have the right to know about our husband's crossdressing, preferably before marriage, but certainly when our husbands begin to make crossdressing a significant factor in their lives and wish to contact support groups.

  2. We have the right to honest and open communication with our husbands, with negotiation and compromises on both sides, particularly in regard to allocation of family resources and in matters pertaining to telling our children. Old patterns of selfishness and deception must cease.

  3. We have the right to not be pushed to 'accept' things before we have had time to learn enough about them and begin to get used to them.

  4. We have the right to our husbands as men, the men we married, men who maintain a positive, healthy masculinity while 'exploring their femininity' and seek neither to evade responsibilities nor to appropriate our own feminine roles.

  5. We have the right to support groups for ourselves that promote our own personal growth and well-being, help us understand our husbands' needs, and provide tools for relationships building.

  6. We have the right to our husbands' masculine male bodies. Neither partner in a marriage or relationship has the right to alter body features without the full knowledge and consent of the other.

  7. We have the right to support groups for our husbands that encourage their feminine development without denigrating healthy masculinity, that welcome us as full members on an equal basis with our husbands, and that fully support relationship commitments.

  8. We have the right not to be mocked and demeaned by sexually explicit or otherwise offensive conversation, dressing and behaviour at group meetings.

  9. We have the right not to be pressured to attend group gatherings at public locations, night clubs, or other places that pose security risks.

  10. We have the right to be asked for our permission before our clothes, make-up, jewelry or other personal items are borrowed.

  11. We have the right to personal time in which to get in touch with our own femininity, persue our personal growth, and work on creative projects.

  12. We have the right to expect local, regional, and national gender organizations and conventions to fully support and promote these rights in their programs and policies.