Coming Out! The first big step in self identification and acceptance

Q.

Response by Chrysalis

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A.  Labels cause much more trouble than anything else. Of course this is my opinion, but after 50+ years on this earth I am more convinced of that one fact than ever. Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, Transgender, Crossdresser, Transvestite, Drag King/Queen, Transsexual -- all labels put on various segments of society either by themselves or others. In 'Man's' (as in human race) seemingly need to compartmentalize or label everything and everyone the only thing that is clear is that it is an attempt by one individual or group to feel better about themselves by placing those that do not meet the preconceived conditions of a particular group into a separate group and "labeled" usually in a manner that casts a negative light on those being labeled.

But that does not really address your question, if the confusion that you are experiencing by these various labels is causing you distress in your self identity, then I would suggest that you find a professional counselor/therapist that is familiar with gender identity issues and enlist their aid. An experienced therapist will be able to help you find the answers that you seek in the safest possible atmosphere. S/he would also be able to help you sort through the various and sundry meanings of the various labels that are causing you the concerns. Characteristics of individuals in a specific 'category' (label) are not hard and fast, in fact they are very fluid and may in fact overlap several 'categories'.

Coming Out! The first big step in self identification and acceptance, probably the hardest single step on this wonderful journey that we all travel called life. Not knowing your exact circumstances, where you live, type of community, family relationship, etc., makes it very difficult to give specific advice, however, some general things you should consider. Try to approach the subject in a matter of fact manner and in very general terms. Try to find out the individuals feelings about alternative lifestyles, i.e. bisexuality, transgenderism, without out specifically referring to yourself. If there is a local PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians And Gays) Group in your area you may want to contact them for assistance dealing with friends and family. There are several links in the Linkbook at Another Waye that may give you articles that may help you also. In my own experience, both of my parents were deceased when I came out, additionally I had been estranged from my brother and sister for a number of years, as a result my brother totally disowned me and my sister has only recently resumed contact with me.

The one thing to remember above all else is "the Creator LOVES you just exactly where you are and has loved you from the very moment of creation." You were not created to hate yourself or for others to hate you. And most important of all; YOU ARE NOT ALONE!