Am I a shemale?
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Q&A
Q. I'm a 15 year old CD, and I think I'm a shemale. My mom knows and I think my dad knows that I'm CD but I know that they don't know that I'm a shemale not on hormones. I know that this info would kill them. Besides that my mother refuses to accept the way I am and so I haven't come out yet. I want to feel natural and good about myself which is the exact opposite I feel everyday I wake up in the morning and think about the clothes I want to wear and the clothes I have to wear. My mother has an iron grip on me since she is my financial support. What should I do ?
Response by Krystle Glass
A. You my dear are at a very tough age. Even without being transgendered at all, you are at an age where you are just beginning to go through some radical physical, emotional, psychological changes. It is a hard age for everyone, even more so for folks like us.
I think for starters you need to realize that there are no simple answers or quick solutions. You are at an age where you cannot, and should not, do much on your own. If you are to be able to do anything in regards to changing yourself or your lifestyle, your parents have to be involved. And that won't be easy, for oyu or for them. To be honest they may very well try to deny your feelings. They may disown you. They may try to convince you that you are not as you feel you are. They will worry about you, what your future holds etc. And they may find their love for you will enable them to handle the situation and try to find whatever help you need to make sound choices and moves.
One thing I sense from your question, is that you don't KNOW just where you are in the gender spectrum. And that's fine. Many people don't know well into adulthood. Don't feel that you need to decide whether or not you are she-male, CD, TS, TG or anything. You suspect your parents know you are CD. Perhaps you need to talk to them. Try to help them understand your feelings, what it is that drives you, why you feel you need to live more in line with your inner self. If you can't talk to them, or get them to really HEAR you., is there some other adult you can confide in that might be able to act as a go-between with you and your parents? I suggest you seek out informative places on-line that have useful information you can share with them when the time is right. At 15 your finances are pretty limited I'm sure, but check the library for books on the topic. If you can find "True Selves" it may be of great aid in explaining things to your parents. I don't know if you are covered by any health insurance through your parents. If you are you can try to see if there's a therapist, experienced in gender issues, that might be willing to see you and help you and your parents into finding a solution to your issues. It may even come to be that you will have to wait until you are old enough, and have the resources on your own, to find your way to being who you are. Meanwhile make use of the vast community that exists for support and information. Take the time to really learn who you are, get to know yourself. Look at ALL your options. Stay up to date on the latest medical advances and treatment options. Above all else being well informed will be one of the best tools you will ever have. Best of luck and stay in touch.