Intersex: Seeking Corrective Surgery
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Q&A
Q. I am a 16 year old transsexual living in Minnesota, just outside of the Twin Cities. I was born as what appeared to be female but.. There was a problem. I apparently was not endowed with ovaries or a uterus, yet I appeared to be female. My parents were given a choice: Either they could leave me be, or they could have some minor surgery done and I would be a "normal" male. Being my parents, they opted for the latter. My life went on, and at a very early age, I found that I not only had difficulty identifying with other boys, but tended more toward the female side. As I grew older, it only got worse.. I started Crossdressing, I started to desire to be female.. Worse, when I hit puberty I started to develop secondary female characteristics. I was hustled away, given hormonal therapy for a year or more and was declared "cured." But I wasn't cured.. I still crossdressed, and I simply could not deny my desires to be female. More recently, I have come across several wonderful and dear friends from different walks of the online community. With their help and friendship, I eventually gained the confidence to inform a few of my peers that I am a transsexual.. Moreover, everybody I tell says that it is almost a given that I should one day get the SRS.. I will say that I most definitely want an SRS someday. At the same time though, I tend to worry.. Though this is not that I come to easily, I cannot help but worry about its implications upon my future. I go to College in just under 2 years, I have a career ahead of me.. And worst, I have no idea how my parents will react. I am very, very fearful that they may disown me. I come to you people upon the recommendations of my friends, because quite frankly, you can offer life experience in this matter. What do you recommend for this poor young un? posted Nov. 1, 1999
Response by Krystle Glass
A. Rather than being born transsexual, you would today be diagnosed as intersexed, a.k.a. hermaphrodite. It is sad that in such cases doctors often pressure the parents into making a decision at birth. Worse still are the case where doctors do not even inform the parents but make the decision on their own and declare the infant a boy or a girl based on their own subjective determinations. Such decisions have a 50-50 chance of being wrong. Such as in your case. They chose your birth gender wrongly and you have as a result suffered form gender dysphoria. NOW you are transsexual. Your worries and fears of the future and parental reactions are well justified. But regardless of your future school, career, family challenges; you face an even greater question and challenge. What do YOU need to do for YOU in order to be content and at peace inside. What course is right for you to follow to be true to yourself? I offer that you will never be happy unless you are free of gender identity conflict. You will change jobs, will likely change majors at least once in college. Your parents, siblings, friends can all leave you for various reasons. The only person you are guaranteed to always be with is yourself. Best to be as comfortable with that person as you can be since you will share a life together. It is wonderful that you have found a network of friends and support. (I'm flattered they thought enough of me to recommend me!) But if you are not already in therapy, please find and start with a qualified gender therapist. They will help you evaluate your options, sort through your feelings and chart a path for your own best destiny.