Crossdresser Coming Out
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Q&A
Q. I'm a 50yo CD who is seriously thinking of coming out. I have reached a point in my life where I can no longer hide who and what I am. I'm not sure I want to become a woman, but I am much more comfortable as one. I have also placed myself in a Asexual Mode. My hetro friends think I'm hetro, and my gay friends think I'm gay, and I'm neither. ( Don't ask, don't do!!!) I am in need of support, and guidance in this matter. I look at the Vanity Club, and I am intimidated. Everyone is soooo beautiful, and I am at best an "Ugly Duckling". I guess I've made a decision, I just don't want to be alone on this. Please help! posted Feb. 5, 2000
Response by Krystle Glass
A. You my friend have reached a point that takes a lot of strength to cross. And the results are unpredictable. Some of the people you might think will disown you may turn out to be your biggest supporters. Those you might expect to be accepting and supportive may have the hardest time dealing with it. I've gone through coming out his past summer. I have been much more fortunate than some I know, but it hasn't been without it's turbulence. In fact after almost 8 months there's still a fair amount of adjusting still to go. I expect that the people in my world will be adapting for years to come. Despite all the tough and rough spots, I wouldn't exchange the unbelievable feeling of rightness and freedom for anything. Not having to hide who I am from the people I care about has been far more than liberating. It's been transforming. So you my friend have my wholehearted support.
And I don't think it's unusual at all for someone approaching such a turning point o have become asexual. I believe that the stress of dealing with gender often makes issues of sexuality take a back seat. That's because gender goes more to the core of our self-identity and sexuality has a far lesser role. I am not saying it isn't important, but you have to first determine who you are before dealing with how you live.
And don't let yourself be intimidated by other T*'s and their looks. I think the vast majority of us are less than enthused with our appearance. I know there are hundreds of T* girls on the net who are breathtakingly beautiful. But the most memorable ladies I know aren't necessarily the prettiest. They are those who are comfortable with themselves, who have developed their inner selves and who let their inner self shine through. I know it's a cliché but the brightest beauty comes from within.